Three silly drabbles for the current Preposterice challenge! I think of them as the Good, the Bad, and the Ugly. All are gen (though Hermione is definitely married in at least one of them), precisely 100 words long, and set post DH and PG. I am not JK Rowling or any Hollywood studio, do not own, and am not making any money out of this.

Hermione Granger and the Amulet of Antiquity: three variations.

I. The Good

“Bill has an odd taste in birthday presents, and the letter’s positively insulting” said Ron, frowning at the ugly ankh necklace: “For my favourite sister-in-law, I saw this and thought of you.”

“Well, it’s arguably a bit lame to call me his favourite sister-in-law when I’m still the only one” said Hermione, “But I think the present’s perfect. I’ve always wanted one of these.”

“What, really tacky jewellery?”

“No, it’s brilliant! When you go round museums, it gives you a running commentary on the exhibits. It only works in the pre-mediaeval galleries, but then it is an Amulet of Antiquity.”

***


II. The Bad

Hermione inched down the tunnel, grateful that she was Impervio’d against the mud. The Amulet should be located in the next chamber.

Suddenly, an American voice behind her said “Don’t try to tell me you’re an archaeologist, sweetheart, not in that get-up.”

She spun round, hand on her wand, to see a scruffily handsome man in a battered hat. At that moment, two Muggles in SS uniforms burst in, waving revolvers. “Hände Hoch!”

“Damn Nazis” muttered the American, “the war’s been over ten years and they still pop up.”

Ten years? Oh dear. She’d obviously missed something in her research.

***


III. The Ugly

“But it’s cursed!” Draco Malfoy said indignantly “I know you don’t like me, Granger, but I have a right to redress if I’m sold faulty goods.”

Hermione shrugged. “Sorry, Malfoy, you don’t have a case. You ought to know that caveat emptor applies strongly in Knockturn Alley. It did what it said, you’re impervious to attack or illness. If I were you I’d concentrate on getting the curse reversed. And read the small print before you buy a ‘protective amulet’ next time.”

His voice was ancient, cracked and desperate. “You don’t know how to reverse the Tithonius Curse, do you?”